After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
