are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
