a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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