I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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