My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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