exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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