I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
