I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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