Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
