Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
