Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
