thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
