epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Two words: blizzard sex
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