Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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