I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
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