Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
