Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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