Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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