Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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