I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize