So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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