Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I party with great urgency now.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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