the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
