I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
