she looked like the bat from fern gully.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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