She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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