Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
