butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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