actually, I'm a sock model
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
