I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I need water and some morals
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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