If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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