4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
