It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
