I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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