Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize