Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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