i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
