this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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