Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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