i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
