Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize