I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
