i need an iv and a liver transplant
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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