covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
