glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize