ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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