what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
