Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
