It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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