I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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