okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Operation Purity has been aborted
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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