you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
