good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
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my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
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Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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