i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
3pm strippers are depressing
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr