Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...

(1-214): View more from Texas

Mike i'm at church right now...

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(214): I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis... (1-214): Mike i'm at church right now... http://tfl.nu/uslc

Replies (17) Good night (4220) Bad night (889)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

meow

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.

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(402): meow (1-402): WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD. http://tfl.nu/2v4y

Replies (96) Good night (4912) Bad night (1340)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.

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(401): The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster. http://tfl.nu/0ncd

Replies (16) Good night (1072) Bad night (4937)
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(360): View more from Washington

You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.

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(360): You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there. http://tfl.nu/r1ke

Replies (18) Good night (5303) Bad night (633)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.

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(519): Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil. http://tfl.nu/3ein

Replies (69) Good night (12048) Bad night (921)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one

(609): View more from New Jersey

ravioli

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(609): So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up (1-609): i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one (609): ravioli http://tfl.nu/eoaw

Replies (38) Good night (4975) Bad night (2647)
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(303): View more from Colorado

i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.

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(303): i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado. http://tfl.nu/h7dy

Replies (25) Good night (6139) Bad night (627)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.

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(703): Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice. http://tfl.nu/mxxc

Replies (19) Good night (6013) Bad night (1289)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.

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(301): Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard. http://tfl.nu/kick

Replies (9) Good night (4129) Bad night (1019)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol

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(910): he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol http://tfl.nu/9w2c

Replies (5) Good night (1323) Bad night (568)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.

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(570): I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club. http://tfl.nu/5u2s

Replies (13) Good night (1305) Bad night (970)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?

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(541): Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am? http://tfl.nu/ak1s

Replies (10) Good night (1536) Bad night (409)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.

(1-715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.

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(715): If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues. (1-715): I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes. http://tfl.nu/6qvu

Replies (2) Good night (1126) Bad night (429)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract

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(515): Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract http://tfl.nu/mnf5

Replies (3) Good night (260) Bad night (888)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...

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(570): I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing... http://tfl.nu/vi9c

Replies (7) Good night (781) Bad night (260)

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