Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
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Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
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You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.