last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
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i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
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How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter