I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.