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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final

  Fav 34 1274 5813

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...

  Fav 95 7928 1641

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• (845): View more from New York

  she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.

  Fav 18 1322 6171

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.

  Fav 17 5983 1226

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.

  Fav 12 618 1209

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (785): View more from Kansas

  if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.

  Fav 16 1010 1536

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."

  Fav 16 2983 887

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out

  Fav 7 615 1141

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.

  Fav 1 765 411

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.

  Fav 2 941 504

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