I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
