My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
