Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
