There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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