70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Alive.
So much puke
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
