I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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