she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
