It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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