yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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