so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
