i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
It was confusing and full of hummus
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
